Just Here

Many thoughts have crossed my mind these past few hours.  I'm sitting here thinking how much I would like to pack my bags and escape and leave everything and everyone behind.  I'm tired.  I feel like my life is passing by me not through me.  I'm not living, I'm not living to fulfill my expectations.  I've lived to make people happy, to make my parents "proud", and now that I've decided to live a little it all seems to be going down the drain.  Now I'm questioning my actions.   Am I living or filling someone else's expectations of me.

I'm frustrated. I'm tired.  Wish I could go back and do thing differently, everything.  I would have done so much, I still can but how?

I'm starting to feel trapped, like my life is heading forward, just to nowhere.  

I'm not creating memories... I'm just here.